When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
