I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
one two three fourrrrnication!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
