You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
