i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
