she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
