I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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