I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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