yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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