i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
