How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
