A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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