she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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