How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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