Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
