i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My ass is underappreciated
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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