i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize