I am in a vortex of obligation.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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