I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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