farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
