i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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