a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
