saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
