also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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