Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
