I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You left your phone here
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