That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
