Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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