Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
