Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
