I will die if light touches me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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