i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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