No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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