he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
