Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
