So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
