so explain again why im purple
no
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
