sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
