I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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