He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
