I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize