This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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