we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
