apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
