She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
