I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
