Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
