I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
