the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
