Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
