We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She announced her abortion via fbk
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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