She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So vagazzling was a success
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
