Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
