He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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