i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
