Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
