All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
