I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
