Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
