I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize