she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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