I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
