Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
These tits shall not be calmed
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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