dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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