we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
