come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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