But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
