these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
