i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
