yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
