I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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