Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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