My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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