I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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