these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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