you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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